Back Once More

So I haven’t been blogging for almost a year now mostly because I am busy and partly because I have nothing to complain about (like the stupid MBTA). But starting now, I’m going to implement other things onto my blog like reviews and whatnot about the types of things that I like such as video games and television series. Hopefully by doing so I’m actually going to have more things to talk about. So stay tuned and this time around let’s hope that I won’t be away too (too) long lol!

I Need More Motivation & Anime Boston

So yesterday was a fun day because I got to go to ANIME BOSTON!! =) But the best part about it was that I got to go at a discounted price ($6!!). Yeah it was exciting, although I wish the stuff that they were selling there to be less expensive. 70$ for a plush doll is just pushing it >.<

But I got to see the anime dating game; the first half was funny but things got a little draggy so my friends and I left. I was really happy to see people who dressed in old classic animes like Pokemon (the original season), Digimon, Sailor Moon, and Yu-Gi-Oh. I actually saw a Guilmon and was chasing it down to get a picture. If I decide to go again next year I would need to stock up on some major cash, get a better camera or bring an HD camcorder, and dress in some kick-ass costume lol

Besides looking around and taking pictures, I actually bought two posters. One was a Soul Calibur 3 poster, it was so nice and cheap ($6) =) and the other was a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers poster that was customized by the artist, it was the coolest/cutest thing I saw lol I also wanted some of the Final Fantasy posters there but I was running out of money =(

When I got home I felt this sudden urge to start some of the video games that I had bought but never even opened or played... Too bad exhaustion won and I fell asleep on the couch till 1-ish in the morning. I got up and went upstairs to my room and slept till 4-ish. When I woke up I honestly thought it was 4PM so I was FREAKING out because I have MADDDD shit (by that I mean school-related work and yes I honestly think school is shit because it's constantly getting in the way of my life >.<) to do. Luckily, it was dark outside so yeah it was back to sleep for me. The sad part is even though I was worried that I wouldn't get any work done by 4, it is now almost 8 and I'm STILL not getting any work done... FML!!

The Ugly Truth or the Pretty Lie?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about truths and lies. When I was little, I used to not care whether what people tell me were lies or not. However, as I get older I feel as if I would prefer the truth regardless of whether or not they were good things or bad things.

It was great to be praised by others when I was little for doing any kind of work whether it was excellent or crappy work. However, there are certain things that a lie can never make up for. Of course there are times when I hope that I can continue to live a lie because often lies are always ideal.

I don't know, it is quite a dilemma because the truth usually hurts =/

Quit the Perfection!

So I was reading through some of the "How to be Successful" books that I bought ages ago before entering college and I noticed that most of them all have a topic on procrastination. Not only that, every book seems to point out the fact that procrastination is caused by perfectionism (the act of trying to be perfect in every way).

It was then that I realized that I somewhat fall into this category. Back then when I was little, doing homework or studying was more or less to get the work done and absorbing as much as I can. Now, it has become more like a "sink or swim" situation. In college, you get one shot and that's pretty much it, not like in elementary school when easy spelling quizzes were given out once every week so those who sucked at the other subjects could get a chance to boost their grades. College is very cut-throat because professors are pressured into giving a certain number of A's, B's, C's, and unfortunately some F's. Therefore within a specific major, like Pharmacy, only a certain number of students will make it and get their degrees. I heard that my school only allows about 200 or 300 to graduate and the rest will either fail or drop out/transfer.

Therefore, school is all just a game of survival to see who can get the best grades and triumph over everybody else. It's like a competition rather than what they call an "academic" experience. I no longer trust professors who preach about the importance of learning because in the end learning will get you nowhere if you don't have the grades. That's how it is in the real work as well, in order for one person to be the best, another person has to fail or lose. This is the reason why I was ranked higher in high school. It wasn't because I was so smart but because the people who were in the "race" just decided to try less harder.

It sucks to know that you're only considered smart because the people around you are not trying as hard. It's kind of like playing a video game, what good is a victory if you realized that you won because somebody was going easy on you >.<

This is what has led me to become such a perfectionist because so much is dependent on the grades that I get now. That's why in order for me to study or do homework, I have to find the "perfect" time and place which just happens to be never and nowhere. This leads to last minute cramming and failing grades =( I wish society would stop pressuring people into thinking in this kind of mindset. It's very unhealthy and evil... sigh

Our Job Vs. Our Hobby

I am willing to bet my money that 99.9% of the people out there with jobs would rather choose a different occupation if all the jobs in this world resulted in the same salary.

I am one of those examples because honestly I would rather design web pages or dance at a concert all day if I was offered those kinds of jobs. However, that is not the case. The world is unfair and values only the professions that benefit life in general. Thus, if a job does nothing to contribute to the general health of society, it doesn't become valuable. I used to want to become a forensic scientist or psychologist but looking at their salaries, I question whether or not spending all those years in college will be worth it in the end. Sure, I will love what I do, but how is it going to sustain my expensive life?

I think society just staggers self-interest because by setting a doctor's salary to a such a high degree, it is insinuating that any profession with a salary lower is considered "not as important." Thus, everybody nowadays constantly seeks to get into a profession that is both less time consuming and high paying. With this mindset, those hobbies of ours like drawing and singing and dancing become inhibited because what good do these things do for us if we won't be getting paid for doing them? Then they become a waste of time and eventually we lose interest in them.

Video games used to give me such great satisfaction but since I have no time for them anymore (there is no job out there that pays for playing video games), I lose interest in them as time progresses. The longer you stay away from something, the harder it is to go back to it. It is very unfortunate that we are all forced to give up our dreams in order to help society advance.

Revisited Memories

So yesterday I went back to my high school to visit my best teacher Ms. P and after an hour of talking, I realized how much I missed high school. And by high school I mean high school when no AP classes were involved.

That's why my favorite year of high school was probably sophomore year because the courses were easy and everything seems to be going just right. But for some reason things just went downhill from there. Sophomore year was the last "productive" year for me. After that, procrastination just kicked in like the plague and have since taken a heavy toll on my life.

I realized that as I get older and more important events begin to occur, I start to feel like I have no time to do anything. Because there are so many important things going on, I can't afford to mess up, thus I spend so much time perfecting every aspect of my life. This causes my procrastination to skyrocket and now I just can't help but give in to it.

But I hope that things will get better, that one day something drastic will happen that forces me to go back to how I was before all of these chaotic events occurred. I want to go back to being that little boy who would get all of his homework done on Fridays. I miss my productive years and hope that they will come back soon...

Negative Attraction

So I have offically declared today that I attract 2 things: diseases & poverty.

For some reason whenever I take the MBTA, I ALWAYS and I stress ALWAYSSS end up sitting or standing next to somebody who is sick. No matter how hard I try to avoid one sick person, I will end up face to face with another "sicker" person. The thing is people who are sick don't wear faces that says "Stay Away I'm Sick" on their foreheads so I can't judge >.< Now here's the thing, when I was sick back in December, I never sat near anybody who was sick which made me feel awkward whenever I spaz out and cough. But how come when I was sick everybody around me appears to be healthy but when I'm all healthy, sick people start coming after me left and right. I don't need to get sick again people, KEEP AWAY!!

Another thing that constantly happens to me is that people always ask me for money or "leftover change." These people are usually waiting at the train stations for me and it happened to me THREE TIMES within a 24 hour period. Seriously, it's like I have the words "Hi I'm Rich" written on the top of my forehead or something. I have my huge ass backpack on meaning that I am a college student, and college students are POOR for goodness sakes!! So please please, keep away! >.< God if they were poor in the first place then where did they muster up all of the change in the first place to get INTO the train station. Shouldn't they get some food instead? It's like using money in order to ask for more money when you could have made better use of it in the first place X(

Now on a more pleasant note, my Pokemon games finally came today. I have been anticipating the Heartgold and Soulsilver versions of Pokemon ever since they were first announced last May. I remember the orginal Pokemon Gold, Silver, and Crystal Versions were my favorite but all the batteries inside the game cartridge have died so I can no longer save my progress. So you bet I was super excited when found out about the release of these newer versions. SO EXCITED!! I will personally make a new layout having to do with these versions at the end of this week because I am THAT excited, can't wait to play it later (I would play now but I still have some work to do). God fuck school already, stop ruining my life!

Is Having More Time a Bad Thing?

So I'm assuming that by now everybody is aware about the fact that I am a MAJOR PROCRASTINATOR... much like how I am now (I should be studying for my chem exam but guess what I'm doing?). As spring break was nearing I told myself that I was going to study and be productive... guess what actually happened? THE EXACT OPPOSITE! >.<

Now I have a theory that giving procrastinators more time is actually a bad thing. More time in my world doesn't mean having more time to study or get things done. It just means more time to watch TV, play video games, and basically everything BESIDES studying.

Much like how on exams we get a certain amount of time, I realize that the more I spent time going over my answers, the more likely I will change my answers into the wrong ones. Never have I actually needed to spend the extra time and even when I do spend the remaining test time going over my answers, I still never actually make any changes that will benefit me.

I guess the reason why most people finish exams quickly is because they know that they do not need to spend the extra time because it MAY hurt them. Sometimes I really just need to built myself a hypnotic machine that can brainwash me or something and cause me to lose this habit.

So how do YOU guys combat procrastination, if you actually do. Give me some tips!! lol

Overpopulation?

Is it bad to say that there are WAYY too many people on Earth and that we should either die off more often or move to another planet? I don't know why I get so annoyed with things such as waiting in line, waiting for the train, and having to snuggle my body up against a stranger because there is NO personal room. Maybe I am becoming OVERLY claustrophobic the more I am exposed to it. I mean even doing something that using wi-fi to play Mario Kart with people online is hard; there's no space because EVERYBODY is on so I get diconnected every few minutes. Sometimes I feel like I desperately need my own personal space, or maybe I have some already but just need for it to expand more. A perfect world isn't a world in which you always get what you want; it is one in which there is no such thing as a "wait" time or "waiting list" or being "waitlisted." I get anything that has the word "wait" in it because that is just stomething that I cannot afford to do, ESPECIALLY in a world in which we live today.

So much to do, so little time... It is times like this that I wish I could just go back.

Intense Sympathy & Procastination?

So this weekend was a little different from my other weekends. It was one in which I told myself that I need to STOP procrastinating and just get things DONE! So although it was REALLY late, I was able to finish a lot of the work that I wanted to get done (that meant I only had an hour and a half of sleep >.< last night)

I found this video on self hypnosis on youtube --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45VzxdQvfok and it kind of worked for me after I listened to the lady. I REALLY got a lot of work done today so who knows, it might help you too if you are a MAJOR procrastinator like me lol

On the other hand, for some reason I feel really simpathetic towards my brother today. We were on the train and all of a sudden he got this RANDOM headache and it was so bad he had to drop down on the floor of the train. The lady next to us thought that he was sick. At first I was annoyed because he probably didn't sleep much last night... what is it about Maple Story that's so addicting anyway?? But then I felt bad later on. It was a feeling of INTENSE SYMPATHY too, not like "I feel bad," it was "I FEEL REALLY BAD." I don't know, it was a pretty random feeling, maybe it's been a while since I had to take on the "caring brother" role. Most of the time, I just tell him to suck it up fool, but not today LOL I'm pretty mean I know XD

Well it's been a pretty productive day and I hope everyday's day was the same =) nahhh? lol I know it's a Monday, but 2 more weeks till spring BREAK =) yayyy!!

Reflection

Have you ever had one of those moments when out of the ordinary you just started thinking about your future? It's like one of those times when you start questioning whether or not you belong where you are today? Well today I had one of those moments and that got me thinking a lot about my future.

First, what crossed my mind was whether or not I was truly interested in my major (pharmacy). It is definitely NOT subject in which I would love to be involved in for the other half, or longer, part of my life. I really don't understand why I chose it to begin with. It was definitely a last minute thing. I was scrolling through the list of majors while I was applying and PharmD seemed to be the most appealing. In fact, for each of the school that I applied to, I had a different major selected. It was PharmD for MCP and Northeastern; Pre-med for BU, Tufts & Umass Amherst; and like Business for BC or something similar (can't remember). Yeah, that was how I decided my major because I only got into 3 schools and the only 1 I could afford was MCPHS so then that was how I got into PharmD.

I guess I am not TOTALLY un-interested in pharmacy because out of all the different areas of study, science is most definitely my favorite, ESPECIALLY CHEMISTRY. Keep in my mind that I absolutely HATE biology, which was why BU was not an option (plus, they gave too little $). However, if something comes along, such as along the lines of me getting approached on the street for a singing or dancing contract, I WOULD TOTALLY take it in a heartbeat. Thus, pharmacy became the most LOGICAL choice for me, not one that I necessarily think is the best. Then again, what I deem ideal (like flying to Korean to become a singer/dancer) is wayyy too unrealistic >.<

So yeah that was my moment of reflection upon myself. My biggest regret was not fully considering my options, nor really taken the time to go seek them. I am a very adventurous person, and standing behind a counter handing out drugs all day doesn't really give me that satisfaction. I guess like every other pharmacist out there, I am only in it for the money. Money makes life better so hopefully mine will not be an exception.

Maybe I should have applied to some forensics school to utilize chemistry in a way that's more active and engaging... then again I won't have money. So the bottom line is, what's more important? Money or Passion? OF COURSE MONEY!! Passion doesn't keep people out of poverty. Therefore, it's best to find something in between =) which I am right now, so I guess it's not all that bad lol

I F*CKING HATE THE MBTA & FRIDAYS!!

So I just woke up from my sleep, and god I dread and look forward to Fridays every week. Happy that it's finally the weekend (with this Monday off Wooo!) and dreading over the fact that I have a 3 hour long biology lab every Friday. Biology is just that ONE subject that no matter how hard I try, I still won't get it, which explains why I got a 56 on my first exam >.<>.< Then when I changed over to the Red Line, I noticed that every stop on the other Red Line, which goes in the opposite direction, had a train. Once ONE TRAIN is delayed, EVERY TRAIN IS DELAYED... not to mention that some people on the train are very agressive! God, public transportation... can't live with it, can't live without it. Well only 5 and a half more years of transportation torture for me... sigh..

I Wish the Snow Angels Will Hear My Prayers Tonight

Right now it looks pretty snowy outside and I hope it becomes worse lol. The worser it gets the better, we need a bad day (or rather a good day for me) once in a while. I remember that one time back in 8th grade when we didn't have school for a WHOLE week, it was great. I don't know if colleges have their students "make up" days or not, but from the looks of things they don't. Wouldn't that be great to stay home for a week and not have to make up it in the summer?

I will be praying for "FOOTS" of snow tonight, the more the better. But really, if we do have school tomorrow regardless of the weather, then please don't snow so much because I'm a poor commuter =(

Is It Possible for Time to Freeze?

Sometimes I wish that time can just stop so that I have more time to get things done in my life. Why did the days seem like an eternity when we were younger, but now they seem to flash by so fast? There are often moments when I wish that I had not grown up, maybe then will I find happiness in being as carefree as a child. Sometimes I question whether what I'm doing right now will really lead me to true happiness in the future...

On a side, I finished my layout just like I promised. This layout centers around the color scheme orange and features my top favorite Korean idols =) New songs will be upload soon and remember that you must use Internet Explorer in order to activate the music playlist!

Think Positively?

So today I learned in psychology that just by "thinking" positively, you can improve your overall health. Now I think that's pretty "obvious" to some people but who ever really takes the time to think to themselves "Gee, I should think more positively so I can become healthier." So yeah, now that this concept is tucked away under my brain, I will refer back to it whenever I'm starting to feel sick... I WILL THINK MORE POSITIVELY =)

And no, I didn't forget about the new layout. It will be done by the end of this week as promised!

1 YEAR BLOG ANNIVERSARY!! =D

Oh boy, where do I start...

So basically, today marks the one year anniversary date from the very first time that I posted my blog entry. Thus, I thought it is special enough to update today. I was gonna make a new layout to go with this "special" occasion, but unfortunately, I have not finished. I SWEAR college is FULL of work left and right and you NEVER run out of things to do. Right now, my life is just rapidly rushing by and every day is a new challenge to see how much work I can do. Unfortunately, this "pile" of work will never cease to exist no matter how much work I put into it. I'll get NO break until vacation >.<

So I will try to finish up the layout little by little so expect something new by the end of this week =) until then... good luck to everybody who is constantly trying to pull his or her life together just like me! XD